Horrible Dream

I think dreams have power. I think they can mean that the spirit is trying to tell you something, or it could be a fear manifesting itself inside and making its presence known from your subconscious to your conscious.

Have you ever had a dream that felt so real that waking up and seeing it wasn't is disorienting?

I have dreams sometimes that are languishing dreams, where I can stay wrapped inside of them for hours, just enjoying their comfort and the ability to relish in their freedom. But sometimes... sometimes.... I wake with a jolt and want to hold onto my family just to assure myself that what I dreamt wasn't real.

Last night I had one of those dreams. I woke up with a panic and ran through my house searching for my husband. He had fallen asleep on the couch because he has a chest cold and didn't want to keep me awake. I clung to him like I was afraid to fall off a high shelf. So what was this dream? What did I see? To plainly put it, I saw the end of the world. I don't profess to know how the world will end, but I do know that if it were to happen in my lifetime, that it will seem like a deja vu to me because the feelings I had in my chest last night, and the panic I felt, that was very much real. The dream was as follows..


For some reason, it took place on a base and I was running around in a truck trying to find someone. I had left the kids momentarily at home because finding this person was the utmost importance. Bill was with me as we drove around looking for some higher official to report something to. It wasn't anything majorly catastrophic, more or less that there was someone on the base that was hurting people and we saw it and wanted him apprehended. We find who we are looking for at a small eatery.
In my mind, in the dream, I was anxious to get home to the kids but upset because I had seen what this person had done and wanted to get it reported asap. I knew, in my mind, that the kids were okay, even though in real life I would never leave my kids alone at their young ages, but In this dream, it seemed okay. As I stood next to the table and Bill informed this person what we had seen (the bad guy) doing earlier that day, my cell phone goes off. It's vibrating in my pocket and my first thought was "Oh no, something is wrong with the kids"! I go to reach for my cell phone and hear immediately that all of the other cell phones in the room start going off. Several diners reach into their pockets or bags to get to their phones, and a moment of confusion ensues because our phones are ringing madly, but they seem to be malfunctioning. Our phones were all ringing and vibrating but the buttons were all being pushed and the phones were acting crazy.

I look up from my phone because the room starts to shake. Just then, the floor begins to rumble and then.. ok, you know how you're in the theaters and the speakers rumble when a large aircraft on screen goes by? Think star wars during the chase scene. That! rumbling starts to go through the room and then the air gets thick. Similar to when you're in an airplane and trying to have a conversation with the person with the seat next to you: Words are coming out of your mouth but it sounds like you're talking under water. Our mouths were moving and we couldn't hear each other but there seemed to be something wrong with the air. There was no sound, just the rumbling and then it went still. We were saying "what's going on" and looking at each other confused, but the air isn't cooperating and we aren't able to take deep breaths. Like when you're at a classical concert and the conductor lifts his wand and the band stands poised, ready to play their first note. The audience attunes themselves to the impending noise and waits for it to begin, but the wand hasn't dropped yet, so they just sit ready without talking. That stillness was one of the creepiest parts of my dream. It was like every molecule had been sucked into a center and the center was about to explode.

At this point, it suddenly dawned on me, in my dream, that this was the end. This was the end of the world as we know it.The blast was coming, and this was the precipice, as we look over the edge of the cliff to which we all will be shoved. The impending blast was on it's way and we were going to be leaving this world. My thoughts immediately switched to my children at home, scared and alone without mom or dad to care for them. I dropped to my knees then, and began to pray over and over "Please don't let this be it. Please don't let this be the end"

I woke up at this point saying over and over vocally "No, No, No!" When my eyes opened and I saw I was still alive, I sat up in bed to get my bearings. The house was dark, there wasn't a sound and my husband wasn't in bed with me. I ran down the stairs in a fog and Bill woke to me frantically shaking him. He held me in his arms but from then on out, every time I closed my eyes, I heard the roaring and felt the stillness of the diner when the earth stood still. Today, upon reflecting back, I wonder will the world end in my lifetime? Will it end in my kids'? I certainly hope not because I can tell you first hand..

it sucks!

I don't know if this dream is a euphanism for something in my life, or if it is just a shadow of what will be someday, or if it is because I watch too much tv, but it felt...so....real! If it were a Rated R dream, I would have woken needing a shower. It was that real. The echoes of it still resound in my mind and I shove them back, but part of me wonders... if this were the last day of the earth, and this were the last time you were with your family, would you be doing anything differently right now? I'm asking myself the same thing.

Welcome Welcome!

I decided to start a new blog. Why not? Right? It may not be interesting, it may not be attention grabbing, but that is how we like it. We like being low key and keeping to ourselves.

So who am I? My name is Stacey and I am a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom) to my two children Brianna and Justin. They are both in school so I can no longer justify staying home, especially since I haven't mastered the housekeeping requirements of the job, but thankfully my "boss" likes me and won't "fire" me. Speaking of the "boss" that would be my husband Bill. He's in the US Air Force and is a load toad- weapon's loader that is. He puts things that go "Boom" on the jets. It's not a bad job besides the constant deployments and temporary assignments, but heck, atleast he 'aint army! I don't know how those women do it.. the year long deployments that is. They either love their husbands very much or have very good medication.. hey, maybe both.


My life, is simple. I like to stay home, take care of the kids, surf the web, and cook every so often. I'm not one of those super mom's that appear to have Brie VanDeKamp-ish personas. I don't get all up in arms if my kids leave their socks on the bathroom floor. I have some college finished, but not enough to say that I am a student, so I guess I'm kind of in limbo. The kids are at school, the house work isn't any more appealing today than it was yesterday, and I need to either get a job or go to school. I still haven't decided what it will be though.

The newest complication to our lives is that soon, Bill is going on an all expense paid trip courtesy of the Air Force. He's going to be gone for quite some time and this will be my first time having to weather through a prolonged separation since basic. When he was in basic and tech school, I stayed at my mother in laws, and that time FLEW by. Here, It will just be the kids and I.

OH YEAH! I forgot to tell you where "Here" is. "Here" is actually the United Kingdom. I called it England once... uhh, big no-no. It's the "United Kingdom' and the "United Kingdom" prefers to be called the "UK" not "England". Well, excuuu'uuse me England, I mean, the UK!

We made it out to London once since coming here. It was a blast but I didn't get to do a single thing that I wanted to do. We will be going back sometime soon. Before Bill departs from "The United Kingdom", I'm not sure.. but we will go back soon. I miss our last base (Aviano, Italy), but this place is growing on me.



Old House in Italy


New house in the UK