A dream is never just a dream when..

When you wake up clutching your sheets, with your heart racing and doing everything in your power to erase what you just saw. It is as real as real life, your brain accepts each motion, each feeling, and there is no line between reality and a dream.. until you wake. My last dream ended up to be real. No the world did not come to an end, obviously, or you wouldn't be reading this, but MY world as I knew it came crashing to a halt with an explosion. I have not written on this blog in so long because of that crash but last night, I had another doozie of a dream.

It started off with us having fun at a campground. There were aspects of the dream that were unreal, for example I was thin and younger in the dream. The gist of it was, I was sleeping in my dream, in our car, with no clothes on. (For some reason I was okay with this in this dream) We had been goofing around and swimming the night before and our clothes were drying out while we slept. We awoke to find that everyone we had been there with, had left us and had in fact taken a lot of our clothes as well. I ended up getting in the back seat and wrapping a blanket around myself. I began to get upset about the clothes situation. (Wouldn't you?) and we proceeded to leave the area for our drive home. I must note, in this dream we were not in europe because the correct side to drive on was the right side of the road.

So here we are, driving away from the site. There is Bill, myself, and our two children. Bill is still furious. Not that those other people took my clothes, but because I was upset and it had set him off in a foul mood. As he begins to get on the highway, Bill decides (and bear with me, this gets weird) to drive backwards in the left lane (the oncoming traffic lane) There are cars in the right lane, travelling the same direction as us, but he wants to go "his own way" to get us home. I start to panic because we are in the wrong lane, facing the wrong way and are going to get in a car accident. Bill spins the wheel around to get us going the right way, but we are approaching a bend and there is nowhere to merge back into the correct side. As Bill tries to avoid oncoming traffic, he ends up on the shoulder.. but still going. Instead of stopping, throwing on the flashers and waiting for traffic to lighten, he hits the gas and is driving in his made up third lane. It works for a little bit, this crazy erratic driving, but we then come up to a curve in the road with a small shoulder. Bill throws himself towards the right lane trying to force us in but the cars refuse to leave a gap and Bill throws the car back towards the other shoulder, just as a huge caravan comes our way. It shoves us off the shoulder and over the side of the road. At this point of the dream, that is when we realize, there is no ground beneath us. We were shoved off the road while on a bridge.

As the car careens towards the earth, still straight for some reason, Bill is still sure we can land and be okay. He focuses out the window and is waiting for the earth to meet us in the hopes we can land with all 4 wheels straight and he can press the gas to pull our momentum forward and we will be fine. I, in my own heart and mind, know this isn't going to happen, so I reach for my kids and tell them I love them and that it will be okay. I am holding onto each of them, as I look out my windows to see us about to hit the earth. I looked back at my kids and again told them I loved them, and seconds before we hit the ground, I jolted wide awake, in my bed, and began to freak out for real.

Do I think this will ever happen? Realistically, no. I don't think my husband is so mentally deranged that he would drive on the wrong side of the road. I do think that metaphorically, he can be driven to make wrong choices that will pull us off our path for a successful life, and my pushing him through anger may be the "driving force" being the catalyst that would cause him to make the wrong choices. I think us falling off the road completely is worrisome. I just hope this dream is just a dream, but it feels so much like the dream below, that I really can't be sure on that. If you are reading this, please pray for my family.