It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood..

Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won't you be my neighbor?


Life is okay today. We (B and I) got to go out to a predeployment briefing to learn all the good stuff we should know for when our spouses are gone. They didn't tell me the really good stuff I wanted to know like "Where are the best places to shop when your husband is away and "who do we call if we want to yell at our husbands and they aren't available".

I guess those are maybe only my concerns.

Really, it's okay. Maybe this "separation" will mature me a little bit. Ha ha.. I hope not! But maybe.. I hear of some of my friends' husbands deploying and they're leaving for like a friggin YEAR! A YEAR!! Omg.. 18 MONTHS! Are you serious?? I know people who meet, fall in love and divorce in that time frame but they're supposed to keep a marriage going strong and the fires burning bright for EIGHTEEN MONTHS! No way! No friggin way. I love Bill immensely but I don't even think I'd know who he was anymore after 18 months. You'd have to start dating all over again when he came back to see if you were still compatable.

I think the 5 months this deployment will be won't be that bad. 5 months is like an extended temporary duty assignment. That's not even the half way point for most army dudes who are going. Okay, not dudes.. "Soldiers".. sorry to exclude the women there. I'd just hope that most women are smarter than their male counterparts and Go Air Force instead. ha ha. I'm biased like that. People say "Army is so much better than Air Force" but guess what IDIOTS!! AF is deploying for FIVE MONTHS while ya'll are out there A YEAR!! I think the proof is in the pudding princess.. Air Force is better! It may make you "tougher" to go Army, but HELLO!!!! Knock Knock.. Who's There? COMMON SENSE!!

This deployment 'aint nothin but a thang'.. but watch, 3 weeks from now I'm going to be pouring my eyes out and blubbering like a baby about how lonely I am.

FRACK THAT! I'm gonna be excited about our trip to see Cirque Du Soliel. All's I need is the money.
Money.. money.. money.. I am so SICK of money!! Seems to be the one thing that is the hardest to find and there is never EVER enough. This whole deployment was driven by money.

Switching gears now, as to the whole T and B thing, the longer I am away from T, the more clear headed I have become. It really is like coming out of a fog. The woman has isolated me so much and has bogged me down with her incessant rants and incessant calls and incessant "Im coming over"s and her incessant "come to our house" and her incessant INSANITY that I have forgotten what it's like to breathe fresh air. OMG! It is a lovely thing to breathe fresh air again. I am thinking clearly and seeing things clearly and HAPPIER! I am so much happier today!

Sadly, I'd forgive her if she wanted to make ammends but I would never forget or absolve her of her responsibility to the friendships she has tried to pretend to be a part of. She would have to own up to it all and clear the air. I have apologized and apologized again for being untrue to my friends and for believing the lies but they have forgiven me and I love them for that. It speaks volumes to me that they would forgive me, when the unforgiving nature of T is what sparked this whole mess to begin with.

I think I'm actually proud that this woman no longer considers me her friend. I don't think I'd want to meet her approval. Far better people she has condemned in her eyes so to be among their ranks is a privelidge. I am proud to be her "castoff" because it shows for once, that I have risen above her hateful nature. I am free..

Free at last.. Free At last.. Thank GOD AlMIGHTY! I'm Free at last.

And I have friends... true friends.. who accept me for who I am and I can't figure out for the life of me why they are still friends with me, but I'm not going to take that for granted again.